Screaming to be Heard, but Scared Someone Might Listen

I sit here at the computer with shaking hands and tear streaked checks pleading with God to choose someone else to be the martyr for this generation. The pain that accompanies such vision feels almost unbearable at times.

If I back up just a bit, I can explain where this waterfall of emotion started. I went to a class that is based on parenting issues and we were asked to describe our children in one word. WOW, was that a hard thing to do…and most people could not. Many felt the need to explain and describe in detail why they thought that word fit their offspring (especially if it was negative). But one word stuck out to me. No matter how much additional things I try to think about, it keeps creeping into my line of sight. It was the concept of “entitlement”. A woman spoke it about her older teenager’s personality and many parents in the room shook their head in agreement when she approached this subject.

Immediately, I secretly became very defensive and almost judgmental. That particular word has been used very often in my personal battles with others in my life and I feel that a misunderstanding in guaranteed when such presumptions are made. The idea is that this generation’s motivation is based on a sense that they are owed something. But I do not view them with that perspective and if there are times when that feeling erupts, then perhaps it is fully justified.

Look at the world around. Look at the varying degrees in morals they are taught. The media, billboards, sitcoms…that alone will confuse the expectations of anyone who is trying to figure out who they are. But then add the conflicting messages that we, as influential adults, add into their personal world. We say, “be honest”, yet it is typical to cheat on taxes or download a friend’s CD. We say, “be careful what you put into your mind” yet we watch things like Desperate Housewives, How I met your Mother, and Hangover. We say, “say no to drugs”, yet we pop a pill for every kind of issue and have a beer in most social outings. We say, “don’t have sex”, yet the porn industry is at an all time high (and statistically proven to be downloaded in many traditional American homes.) We say, “be kind to others” yet we fuss, fight, and argue our point until it turns into ugliness.

Yes, this generation has earned the right to distrust adults and to rebel. We are the ones that are suppose to create an environment of warmth and safety, yet we are to busy searching for the things that satisfy our heart’s desire to stop and see what they need. Yes, we give them what we think they need, but completely miss the mark when it comes to listening to what they need. I will be the first to confess that I fail in this area on a daily basis. I have a fourteen-year-old myself and although I identify with his feelings completely (because I was just like him at this age) I get frustrated when he doesn’t do what I expect of him. The hardest part for me, as a parent, is setting those boundaries that he fights against. He wants me to see him as an adult, and I want him to understand things as an adult. It doesn’t make for great communication when we try to articulate our point.

I know the consequences of “hands-off” parenting and although it seems so much easier to give in, I can’t allow myself to be tempted to do so. I also know the consequences of “bully-parenting” and the rebellion that comes from that. So where does that leave us? Is there really a middle ground? I believe so, but it starts with Christ being the head of the household. Yes, that is much easier said then done and must be a deliberate choice in our daily life.

Having Enough Faith to See the Impossible

Everywhere I turn this week, I hear the word “impossible”. It ranges from places in my casual conversation with a non-religious friend to my assignments in my Bible study. Questions deep within me have been forming about my true understanding of what impossibilities mean as they are regarded in my life.

If you look back to the days of Christ, miracles were done and people believed the impossible by seeing them preformed in front of their eyes. Today, those same miracles happen daily and they are presumed possible through the advancement of science. We hear story after story about people who should be dead but are not. There are books written, movies made, and testimonies told yet many still don’t believe.

So what needs to change? As we have morphed into a new society with great advancements and expectations we have to assume that God’s ability to make us see changes too. It is not Him who changes, for He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, but how we interact in His plan must change as we embrace the presence of new impossibilities.

We all have them in our life. Perhaps the impossible is the need of a medical cure, financial freedom, healing in a marriage, a job, or possibly forgiveness of self or another. Some of the most common needs of a miracle these days stem in the impossible act of being set free from an addiction. Whatever the case, a pure understanding of what God can and will do is needed in order to see the impossible become possible. He has a purpose in everything so what if the hardship we face is to get us to a place that we see Him in our situation?

So what does my impossible look like? It looks like cleaning out years of compulsive buying. It looks like letting go of things that numbed my emotions in the adverse effort to have some sort of control in my life. It looks likes a need to start an exercise program for the first time in my life. It looks like learning to cook for my family instead of eating ready-made meals. It looks like creating a schedule that forms practical self-boundaries to help keep me motivated when the hormones kick in each month and depression seeks to destroy all that God has brought me through.

I have felt in the past that if I could fill my every moment with appointments, errands, and a willful spirit I could outrun the need to do the work required to really move forward. I have also allowed myself to think that I am not worthy of such accomplishments because those around me doubt my ability. But in reality, aren’t those the ones that God is known to use? Doesn’t He typically choose the weak to show His strength? Doesn’t the desperate learn their need for Him much greater then those who rely on their own?

So my next question is, what is your impossible and what are you going to do about it? Are you going to see the purpose of it in your life and face it head on or are you going to accept the world’s vision of it and stop where you are? I encourage you to see...to see that we have a God that creates impossible circumstances so that we can encounter His power through witnessing the impossible become possible.

This Gift of Friendship

The idea of friendship was somewhat of an aloof concept when I was younger. Sure I had people in my life, but they were always kept at a comfortable distance away so that real intimacy could never be established. There was this unconscious fear that if they knew me, I mean really knew me, they would reject me. The Psychology field calls one who uses this defense as someone who suffers from “abandonment issues”. However, I believe we all hold back pieces of ourselves for one reason or another, but it just so happened that I didn’t really like myself so how could I really expect anyone else to.

One of the first things God pressed upon me to do when He removed my childhood shackles was to lay my guard at His feet. Of course I was not ready to do such things so I concentrated on my relationship with Him. Anytime we dig deeper in Him, faith is created and that is exactly what is needed when He pushes us to go further then we have before. “ Faith is the substance hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Heb 11:1). So what does that mean?

Many people don’t even know what to hope for because they are so paralyzed in their circumstance. It becomes apart of who they are and what creates their idea of balance in their life. If they were to loose grasp of that identity, they fear something far worse awaits them. So the issue of just letting go should not be an option. Grabbing onto something that is worthy of grabbing onto should be the goal. This is how it was for me. Once I truly trusted that God is Who He said He is, that I am one of the many He sacrificed His life for, and nothing could separate me from Him (except my stubborn will), I ran to Him.

This intimacy allowed me to feel what no human relationship could (even at their best) offer. It opened my heart to love, to have compassion, to care about people like I never knew was possible. Yes, this also made me vulnerable to rejection, pain, and heartache but that is what He calls us to do. That is what Jesus did for us. How can I deny that part if I am to receive all the blessings that accompany it? In return, my hope changed its substance to see things that aren’t visible to the eye. My faith was transformed in so many avenues of my life including my relationships with those I interact with.

People are not just names and faces to me. They are lives full of wisdom and experiences. They are God’s people created for a purpose. They are made up of love, passion, and pain. We were put here in this time to journey through life together. It may only be for a passing moment or it my be for a decade, but either way, God calls us to put ourselves out there so that He becomes the fingerprint that leaves the lasting impression of those we encounter. How can we not be that vessel for Him?

Is It Okay to Be Scared?

The word FAITH has a quality that automatically stands for trust, assurance, and a peaceful rest that overrides any waiver. So is it right for one to claim to be faithful if the underlining emotion is sometimes frightened?

I believe yes. The emotion of fear is not so wrong, but our reaction to it is what makes all the difference. Our natural state of being relies on what we see, feel, and touch. The world often dictates what that should be, so it is normal to be affected by that response, which inevitably makes us human. However, it is imperative that we continue moving forward from that state of mind into one that puts God into the driver’s seat.

When that shift is made, there is power that extends from knowledge to reality. In other words, a leap of faith is needed before the frightened emotions can subside. We have to believe God’s Word in order to see it come to life. In no way does that change the existence of it, just the sight at which we see it.

God is who He is. Nothing we do will change that. But if we want to live life as it was purposed, we must follow a path that demands more from us. This growth stems from encountering things that scare us. Every situation is different. Every circumstance that is allowed to come into our life is specified to draw out greater strengths then if we had not encountered it. It will be woven into a blanket of other circumstances that will ultimately bring great glory to our Father.

So how do we press on? How do we make it past the steps that feel like they have the power to crush us? How do we focus on the promises instead of the current storm, which we are placed? I know the first response for me is to acknowledge it and its value in my life. To say to Christ (and myself) “I am scared but not scared enough. I will not renounce the power this situation has to be useful in my life”.

As we move into the later stages of time, there is a greater need to not hide from the desires that dwell within. We are bombarded with issues that seek to destroy God’s chosen. We are told to “go forth and make disciples”. Where do you think these disciples will come from? Yes some are found in the churches, but many will be found in the streets. Many are caught up in addiction, pain, depression, and loneliness. Many have been hurt from the rejection of a church. Many long to find a medication that will awaken their soul, but have only found dissatisfaction as their method of escape has only made them fall deeper into their personal pit.

So what do we do? We use our fear to meet people where they are. We expose the lies that the deceiver plants, and help them to see that we, just like them, have been caught in our weakness. We show them the strength that comes from laying everything on the line and choosing God above the fear. We empower them by allowing a candid view of our vulnerable spots so they can draw courage to encounter their own.