Forgiveness is like eating…it takes just the right balance to keep us healthy.

When we are hurt, we tend to store up the negatives until they reach a point of irruption. One, me in particular, usually releases them when it really has very little to do with what they are upset about. But non-the less, the fury is felt, and there is clean up to be done. The situation is seen as their fault because they handled the explosion so poorly. So nothing is solved and nothing changes. The cycle continues and the hurtful feelings mound up.

So where do you go from here? Unless one is willing to let the secrets and trash talk lie by swallowing their pride long enough to say there were perhaps wrong, when inside they feel that is only partly true, things remain the same. Can we really forgive when the other party denies their part? Instinctually I would yes because that is what I would presume to be the right answer but my heart reacts differently. It seems easier to march on and keep those hurts bottled up inside then to let them go. But I recently heard someone say “ you can endure much when you realize how much grace you have been given”.

As I have pondered over the application of that thought these past few days I see the value in such a statement. But how do you make that a reality when feelings tend to override the truth? How do you remain in the relationship when these miscommunications still happen? Someone close to me said that people are who they are and we have no persuasion in changing them. I heard Joyce Meyer say that we have to choose to not be offended; that it is less about them and more about us.

So if I take what I know to be truth from the Bible and add it to the information given by the respected speakers who have talked on this matter, then I will get a plate that is rich in love and forgiveness. But in order for the nutrients to satisfy, I have to push away the fried and fatty feelings of self-righteousness and the need to be heard, right? It must be an intentional response that is required daily for me to see the change in my own behavior and response. However, just as any new discipline is created, there will be a need for determination because such change is never easy. Our mind, just like our body, falls back into what feels comfortable. And if we haven’t worked that particular muscle in a while it is out of shape and weak.

So to all those who feel that they need a little encouragement I would like to remind you of David’s words in Psalms:

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day. –Psalm139: 13-14 (The Message)

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalm 139:24 (New International Version)

Finish what you started in me, GOD.
Your love is eternal—don't quit on me now. (138:8b- The Message)