Revisiting My Commitment

A New Beginning
4-15-09

My Lord, My Savior,

I am dedicating this journey to you as a prayer of thanksgiving, a memory of where you have brought me, and as a hope to where you are taking me. I thank you for seeing in me what I cannot see in myself and ask for strength and courage as I step out on this rough water in faith.

I will honestly say that I am a bit scarred about my ability to do all that you have before me but I have complete faith and trust that you will not lead me down a path that will not end in your glory. I place all my dreams in you and lay myself at your feet. I only ask for a short time of refreshment and growth before we start. Please purify my soul and melt off any iniquities that might place barriers between my heart and yours. I humbly give myself to you and desire to follow where you guide.

I am so awe stricken right now. Why do you choose those who are weak? Did I not dishonor you or bring shame in your presence? I ask for complete forgiveness as I am a work in progress and pray that each passing day brings a change from within that allows the outside world to see your face in me. Please cover my ears to the temptation that causes me to turn away. Allow your words to rise up inside and cause an unending aftertaste of sweet refreshment as the power to resist such pits.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 explains the need for thorns and Paul was no exception, as nor I. I will embrace this trial as a promise that your strength will overpower it and I will speak of your glory in a greater magnitude then I would if you had removed it. For I know that as pain fades, so does its’ power to remember. So I praise you for your grace that rains down on me, for your acceptance that sees past my imperfections, and for loving me in a way that cannot be returned to you.

You are my breath, my heartbeat, my tears. Let me not forget this moment’s promise. I will walk through fire if that is your plan. I cry out in desperation that you don’t let go of my hand for one second because I am nothing without you.

Is Not Being Seen Worse Then Being Rejected?

Right now I have so much pain and anger boiling up inside that my words will be few for fear that I will rant and rave over issues that I clearly “feel” justified in having…



Although my heart still vents with frustration I take comfort in knowing that it doesn’t matter what harm is done in my name. It is really about my ability to forgive and even though they will never truly embrace their part in the ongoing arrows that are thrown, it is God who lives within that accepts the blunt force of the strikes. It is my cooperation in understanding that reality that gives me the power to release such control.