God's Dreams are Bigger then Mine

As some of you may know, I am part of a new ministry called Restored and Renewed. It is a vision that exceeds something much grander than I ever thought I would be a part of. It was not an already existing project that was up and running but one that we are starting from scratch.

The people that make up the board are not the typical people you would expect to see leading this charge. Alisha, the founder of R&R was given this vision twelve years ago when she herself found freedom from emotional, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. She saw the need to build a living community where victims of abuse and their children are provided with everything needed to be restored and renewed. The hope is to have both short term and long term programs that provide housing, resources, Spiritual healing, and practical education. She discovered there were 7,872 women turned away from shelters in Tarrant County alone due to lack of space. She has spent countless hours working with the founders and volunteering her time at Safe Haven in Fort Worth, the Gatehouse abuse facility in Grapevine, abuse victims, local abuse advocates, police departments, and so many more. She sees and understands the depravity that comes from learning to survive one day at a time and is compelled to not just accept the statics but to answer God's call on her life to do more. Then there's Shauna. She left her corporate job to start a nonprofit organization that offers free counseling to the community. Not only are they working with clients through spiritual guidance during seasons of unbalance, unexpected difficulties and life challenges but they also offer a safe environment for those who have been wounded by the institution of the church as they seek to rebuild their relationship with God. In offering Biblical discipleship, counseling, workshops, and Bible Studies to the public, they are so much more than just a counseling center. Although these two ministries are separate, you can see how the importance of having well trained Biblical Counselors involved in R&R is  instrumental in moving forward. Cathy is a registered nurse with 25 years of experience in women's and children's healthcare. She is so valuable to R&R because not only does she offer the wisdom gained from her training and experience of meeting the physical needs of the women we anticipate encountering, but she has the heart of a prayer warrior. Every interaction I have had with her, I can tangibly feel her Spirit and expertise. That gifting is so important and we are incredibly blessed to have her as part of our team. Vikki has a background in Victim Assistance and has worked with the justice system for many years. Her experience in this particular area is so rare because she brings a new perspective to the table. She gives insight into areas we may have otherwise missed, particularly when working with the police department and court system. Next I want to introduce Katie. She is a beautiful young woman who has brought so much love and compassion to our group. She too has a great understanding about emotional abuse and gives a voice to so many out there that are overlooked because many are under the assumption that abuse can only be visibly seen. But in fact, it is the soul that bares the greatest scar. The brutal weight one carries to overcome society's judgment and the feeling of being financially trapped in an abusive relationship is what convinces women to stay where they are.  Then there's me. If you have read some of my past posts, you know that sexual abuse is in past. Although it happened many years ago, the lasting effect tainted how I saw myself and interacted with those around me. It was only by God's supernatural healing I overcame depression, mistrust, and suicidal thoughts. I have always had the support of my family, close friends, and most importantly my intimate relationship the One who redeems. But many aren't so lucky. It is my greatest hope to be a part of something that actively seeks to serve and love on the broken hearted so they too will be inspired to find freedom through God’s Word and renewal process. It is then that we excel in our purpose and understand that pain doesn't have to limit us but can refine us. 

Why am I taking the time to introduce the amazing people to you? Well we are having our first fundraising event in just a few short weeks. For those of us involved, to say this is a step of faith would be stating the obvious. We have nothing to offer up here except our complete and total devotion and obedience to God. We are literally just a few short months out from the concept phase, as we plan and orchestrate our kickoff event that perhaps should take a year or longer to plan. BUT, God has arranged time and time again confirmations of His promise that says we are not to rely on conventional means. He is in control and will continually put people in our path to help us in ways that show His mighty hand in this ministry. However, at the same time, we must be open, available, and vulnerable to put ourselves out there to ask for what we need. And right now, we would like your support.

So many people are coming together to put this event on. We have a beautiful location with a full buffet dinner included, an amazing speaker that will share her personal experiences, an indie style singer/song writer playing her acoustic guitar, a photo booth, a professional photographer, silent auction/ raffle that will display some pretty impressive baskets and gift certificates (which could give you an early start on Christmas gifts should you win), and the chance to see and hear about a one of a kind ministry in the making. Besides the fact that this is a cause that is near and dear to our heart, it will be a fun night. How often do you get to get dressed up in semi-formal attire, wear a mask (if you so desire), and spend an evening rubbing elbows with the most humble people I have had the privilege of meeting? So grab a group of friends for a fun night out or your spouse for a special date night and come celebrate with us! I guarantee you won't regret it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you join John and I as we start this wonderful adventure together with you. 
 

Emotional Landmines

Sometimes we can be in a state of complete peace despite our surrounding circumstance. And then all of a sudden walk into a situation that takes our breath away. We react out of instinct and then chaos has irrupted before we even have the opportunity to grasp what happened.

What is that? The actual event wasn't really that big of a deal given what we have already walked through, and perhaps even conquered successfully. We think, "this should of been nothing...what made me react so sensitively? Why do I feel so defensive and misunderstood?"

So here's my take. God gives us seasons of peace and seasons of growth. He gives us rest as we reenergize and focus on Him. He allows us to fully engage in the Spirit and to engulf the all consuming power of assurance and confirmation that His promises endure over and above all else. And then there are times where He starts to press in and wants us to live out those promises by trusting Him past our emotional state. These moments can often come in waves. If we aren't ready, we can be taken by surprise. If you are wired like I am, this can be quite taxing. When I am in a place of complete vulnerability I have a certain level of expectation that I am going to be emotionally safe. My natural state of being is very guarded and it takes God's supernatural abilities and my obedient heart to tear down those walls each and every day. So in those moments when I am let down by someone, whether in behavior, response, or inaccurate judgment of me or those I care about, it feels much like I have stepped in a landmine and all sorts of responses are triggered. I am immediately caught off guard and probably not thinking rationally. This week, I responded with old reactive habits and became emotionally defensive. The fallout of it left feeling like I needed to retreat and the enemy was saying "see, I told you so. You shouldn't have opened up yourself. You walked right into that".

But here's the thing, the old me would of emotionally and physically pulled backed. I would of politely dismissed myself from those relationships and not looked back. BUT I DIDN'T. Because of the constant push and pull of my spiritual walk and the faith muscle God has been building in me over the last few years, I was able to come home, regroup with God, and wrestle through this issue with Him. Don't get me wrong, I have felt emotionally attacked not only by the enemy but by my own thoughts of insecurity and questions. I felt at times like I needed to explain or defend myself because let's face it...I still feel justified in my stance. But God is the ultimate defender and He is more concerned with a different kind of war, one I just won! I know the enemy would like nothing better then to see me walk away from the path God has set me on. And why wouldn't he? He has a lot to loose here if I press through these challenges. Not only in my world but in the lives of all those I have the potential to touch. But I'm not falling for it this time! I am laying down the sword and showing mercy.

So here, I surrender my pride and insecurity and ask God to help me start fresh. To continue to put myself out there and to trust that I don't need to go into situations defensively just because many in my past have let me down. I don't need to gain their approval but I don't need to expect that it will not be gained. It isn't about me, once again. It's about Him and what He is trying to mold me into. It's about how we are coming together for great purpose. That can only come when we when are willing to work as one unit fighting against one common enemy. I am done being a puppet to my emotions. They need to follow my lead, which is following HIM!