Is being in love with God like being in love with anything else?

I mean once that intimacy is opened and revelations are revealed, does the consistent contentment waiver in the giver or receiver? Does the choice to listen and obey over shadow other elements or am I left to believe that my part in it has far less control then that? Am I a slave to my feelings, experiences, and tendencies, or can I choose to listen to what I know to be true and rely on the strength that I am promised in my daily readings?

While I have been constant in spending time in His presence, I am stunned by the lack of certainty that my passion offers. As I slip into moments of uncomfortable conformity, I battle with the refusal to accept such notions. I know what I know with little room for doubt, yet my thought of typical complacency will not disappear. The chaos that once led my emotions threatens to return just out of sheer frustration. I act or most likely react in mannerisms that frighten my ability to ever truly change.

My heart wants the longing it once felt because that is what kept me from misdirection. However, the calm still waters are to easily understood and represent a fear that I am sure is harder to face then the uneven terrain a valley offers. This position gives subtle acceptance of an ordinary life that somewhat questions the reality I was exposed to. It tells me that I should just settle for doing things in my best effort and good enough is really just that…good enough.

But to be completely honest, that understanding, although tempting, wages a war within my soul like no other. If I were to take hold and allow that truth to dig deep I would lose myself all together. Who am I if I denounce what has saved me? I am nothing…I am a leaf in the clouds awaiting a powerful gust of wind take me from place to place. Instead I choose to be attached to a grounded and stable tree as I blow around with such questions. So, I wait. I wait for my heart to align with my knowledge, I await supernatural proof that He is much more then so many claim, I wait for my eyes to see what they have been shown before…I wait expectantly and patiently for His love to drown out any uncertainties that I face in the present moment.