Does Anyone Have a White Flag I can Borrow?

Ever feel like you work hard to reach a goal, only to find that the success of it brings a somewhat disappointing climax? Well, that’s exactly how I am feeling. I am stuck in that moment and am having a hard time pressing through. I look around and see that life keeps moving forward while I remain suspended in some sort of unexplainable realm waiting for something “spectacular” to happen. I know these are just feelings and my recent graduation has closed a pretty important chapter in my life, but come on- I thought there would be some pressure release...some excitement to “get started”, some sort of unexplainable joy that strengthened me to know exactly what to do and to know how to do it…

Look, I know what is going on, at least psychologically. I know that what ever happens from this point on still commands hard work and trust in the unseen, however…I was not prepared to feel like my greatest force that stands against me is myself and that the harder I push to understand the reality of it all, the more rebellious I feel.

I guess my point in finally articulating this is admitting to myself that I…well, I need His strength more now then ever before. Please be in prayer with me that as I take steps in obedience my feelings will follow and…well, I can find rest where I at, no matter where that is…